Monthly Archives: October 2021

Mindfulness of Doors

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Look at the book I got in the mail. I’m super excited!

The d.school website says the book is “full of unconventional and practical ways to help you bring creative approaches to any challenge you face.” How cool is that? I wish I were on sabbatical, so that I could immerse myself in what seems like amazing fantabulousness. But, sabbatical or not, I’m gonna experience the fantabulousness one way or another.

I read through the table of contents the other day and decided to jump in with assignment number 46 – Micro-Mindfulness Exercises. The micro-mindfulness that struck me was mindfulness of doors. The suggestion is that we take a pause and a breath — however brief — as we walk through doors.

Sounds easy doesn’t it? Turns out, it’s not. I’ve been thinking about it, planning on doing it, for days now. I walk through TONS of doors as an educator. Some days it seems I am constantly walking through doors. Of the million times a day that I go through various doors, I think I have stopped to pause and breathe, twice. I exaggerate the million, but the 2 pauses and breaths is quite accurate.

As I do with my students when we practice mindfulness together, I’m taking the time to ask myself some questions:

  • Why aren’t I pausing?
  • .Are my mind and body in the same space, or am I rushing through the day, thinking of the next moment, the next task, the next thing?
  • Might it be that I’m not rushing, but at the same time that I’m not totally present?
  • What might I learn about myself, my day, my pace, my breath, my mind, as I notice how difficult this is for me to accomplish?
  • How did it feel to take the pause and the breath the two times I did?
  • How might I — if I want to increase my mindfulness, my pause, my breath, my reflection, my peace — help make the pauses and breath possible? How might I remind myself to pause, to breathe, and to be present?

It’s so very interesting, that even failing to accomplish the mindfulness of doors, has brought a bit more mindfulness into my life. It’s beautiful, because it’s about the process and the mindfulness. It’s not so much about the pause and the breath at each door — though they would probably be a gift.

So, I continue to aspire to mindfulness of doors, and as I live and pause and breathe — or not — I will continue to reflect.

Creativity and Well being

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I’ve been having a difficult time in one of my relationships. I’ve felt frustration, anger, disbelief, and annoyance. We need to figure out a way to resolve our disagreement, find a way to coexist, and even more so, to be our best selves together. So far, we haven’t found that sweet spot.

Yesterday, so tired of the discord and associated feelings, I remembered the loving kindness meditation practice. I pulled out my Breathe For Change manual to remind myself of the statements they suggested, and began.

I placed my hands on my heart, and connected to my breath. I used my imagination to create a space of warmth and love, where I could see myself — and even experience myself — as being safe, well, happy, and loved. I sent myself the loving kindness wishes: “May I be happy. My I be healthy. May I be safe. May I be free.” I stayed in the space for a bit, repeating the words, seeing it in my my mind, feeling it in my body, and expressing it on my face.

Our brains and minds are incredibly amazing and complex things. They allow us to imagine, create, and feel things — even things that may be different from our current reality. And, unbelievably, our brains don’t know if we’re actually experiencing it, or simply thinking about it. Years and years ago, I started saying one of Thich Nhat Hanh meditations “Breathing in I calm my body, breathing out I smile. Living in the present moment. What a wonderful moment.” It’s amazing, when I am feeling a bit off, how the simple act of smiling seems to release happiness chemicals into my brain.

So back to the loving kindness meditation.

The B4C folks added a level of imagination which I find to be fantabulously helpful. “Imagine a door opening at the bottom of each foot, and breathe whatever is not helping you out through those doors.” It’s so funny, my doors aren’t always the same doors. Sometimes they are large and grand, sometimes shaped like a hobbit door, sometimes tiny little things. I’m not sure why. But, they are always beautiful, and the thought of opening them to release the ick brings me joy.

So, I opened the doors in my feet, and imagined various things that weren’t helping me. Some of them flew out easily and seemed to become tiny flowers as they left. Other things got caught in the corners, and needed a bit more encouragement to leave.

Then I brought to mind the person with whom I’m experiencing the difficulties. I imagined them in my minds eye, and began the loving kindness meditation. First I reminded myself that, just like me, they want to be happy, safe, healthy, and free. Then I sent them loving kindness. “May you be happy. May you be safe. May you be healthy. May you be free.” I repeated it several times imagining myself actually saying it to them, and imagining them experiencing all those things.

Will this make our difficulties go away? Probably not. Will it change my brain and how I respond to this person? Will it bring me more peace and less of the angst I’ve been feeling? Will it help me to be my best self? I hope so, and I trust in the science that assures me it will.

So with another breath I use the power of my creativity to imagine possibility. With each breath, each thought, each moment of loving kindness, each choice to hope, I will bring what is possible to life.

Was I Kind Enough?

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Wow, I just read this excerpt on the Pedagogy of Play blog. It’s a post by Ben Mardell entitled Vivian Paley: In Memoriam.

Vivian asked me if I remember the questioner and then queried, “Was I kind enough?” I explained that I thought she was extremely kind, but Vivian was not convinced. She mused, “I think she wasn’t comfortable. I hope I was kind.”

There are many lessons we should take from Vivian Paley and her work. Asking “Am I being kind enough” is certainly one of these.

Pedagogy of Play Blog – August 26, 2019

When I read that, I was immediately transported to my Kindergarten classroom. I saw many students — past and present — behaving, and interacting with me and others, in all sorts of different ways. As I look at each, I wondered “Was I kind enough?” Like Vivian I respond “I try to be kind. I hope I was kind enough.”

Vivian’s other comment bears a bit of thought as well. “I think she wasn’t comfortable.”

Again I think of my students. There are so many times that they aren’t comfortable.
They miss their loved ones.
They aren’t sure they can do it.
They are having strong emotions.
They make a mistake.
They hurt a friend.
The reasons are nearly endless.

Do I bear them in mind? Do I notice their lack of comfort? Do I consider whatever behavior or emotional moment they are having might be because they are not comfortable? If so, do I respond with kindness, or do I respond in a less than kind way?

This past week I had a few girls who were being quite unkind to one another. I raised my voice at them and told them to “Sit down!” After they apologized to each other. I asked them how I sounded when I told them to stop and sit down. They said angry. I agreed. “I was angry. What you were doing was very unkind, and you could have hurt each other.” They looked at me without saying a word. I continued. “It was right for me to feel angry, and to tell you to stop, but it wasn’t ok for me to sound, or be, mean. I could have felt angry, but then I could have taken a breath and told you to stop and sit down in a much kinder tone” I paused. “So I need to apologize you.”

I used our apology protocol. I went to each girl, looked her in the eyes, apologized, asked if she were ok, and if she needed anything. One of the girls said “It’s ok.” I responded, “No, it’s not. You don’t need to tell me it’s ok when it’s not ok, just accept my apology.” She did. When I asked her if she needed anything, she said “Please don’t ever do that again.” I told her “I will do my best. Would you please do your best to be kind to your friends?” She shook her head yes.

Notice each other. Take a breath. Be kind. And when you aren’t as kind as you might be, apologize and try again. Such a great way to live and teach.

Way back when. Back when we were some of the wee ones in school.