It’s such an unassuming little book — paper back with illustrations that are black, white, and earth tones. But don’t let that fool you. Byrd and Peter have crafted a piece of PIE rich with possibility and depth. You just have to take the time to sit, breathe, look, think, and find your perfect nugget.
I was gifted this book by friends who knew my penchant for collecting rocks while hiking — especially when hiking near water. I love the way the water smoothed stones feel in my hands. When I hold them, I am transported back to the places, sensations, and experiences of searching, finding, and choosing them. My collection of rocks sometimes expands to include shells, and other bits that fascinate me or increase my joy .
I keep them close by — at home and at work. Two of my favorite rocks sit on my drying rack desk at school. Many a kindergartner has become a lover of rocks after eyeing, and handling, those two perfectly river-smoothed rocks.
In Everybody Needs A Rock, Byrd Baylor shares her 10 rules for finding “a special rock that you find yourself and keep as long as you can — maybe forever.”
She talks of perfect rock finding spaces, but then assures the reader that really any place will do. I agree. I sometimes find the best rocks in the most unassuming places — nestled under other rocks, hidden by leaves, or somehow overlooked until I slow down and sit for a while. What seems to matter more than the place is me. I find the best treasures when I am most mindful and open to being surprised and gifted with wonder and awe.
Byrd encourages agency, exploration, and deep noticing. I particularly love her suggestion to get down close to the rock and “look it right in the eye.”
I’m reminded of the poem about kindness that my Kindergartners wrote last year. Do you see me? Really see me? That’s what Byrd wants you to do. Don’t just see the rock. Really see it. She suggests you squint. I suggest you give the rock a look when it’s wet, dry, in the sun, and in the shade. You might be surprised by the nuances each setting brings out in the rock.
I laughed out loud when Byrd suggested “If your rock is going to be special it should look good by itself in the bathtub.” But, it’s true! There should be something special about the rock, even when it’s all alone, no longer in the environment where you noticed and found it.
Byrd reminds us to go beyond what we see with our eyes. We should consider how the rock feels in our hands, our pocket — and I would add — in our heart and mind. Often, when I’m rock hunting, there is something about the rock that speaks to me in my heart. It’s something more than what it looks like, it’s how it makes me feel.
As I reread the book to share it with you as PIE, I was struck by how Byrd’s rules for finding and choosing the perfect rock are fantabulous rules for choosing friends — and not just any friends, but friends that you keep as long as you can — maybe forever. I’m not certain if that’s what Byrd intended, but I see it there for sure.
Just like finding the perfect rock – finding the perfect friend takes time. It helps to slow down, squint, look them in the eye, and notice them in different situations. How do I feel when I am with them? How does their hand feel in my hand? How does my mind feel with their mind, and my heart feel with their heart?
A super powerful nugget for me is Byrd’s recommendation to look without worry — or as I tell my Kindergartners, without fretting. We’ll find it, and when we do, we’ll know it’s the rock or friend for us. We just need to take some time, squint, look, and really see.
I like that advice for finding friends. I love the agency and the encouragement it gives to all of us — but I’m thinking especially of my Kindergartners — to trust our hearts, our minds, our decisions. Even if the friend, or the rock, isn’t the best looking, or the most popular, that’s ok. If our hearts, minds, hands, and lives, feel good and safe in theirs, then choose away, without worrying about others’ opinions.
Sometimes the rock that was hiding on the edge of the shore, under a pile of seaweed or leaves, turns out to be the most spectacular rock of all.