I’m feeling quite ill today. Took my chemo meds this morning – so it is to be expected. It helps to rest in the cool, quiet, darkness of my room. While I do, with any energy I have, I pray, and think of ways to help myself find more strength, more joy, and more ease.
The first time I did cancer treatment, I kept a journal of all sorts of wonderful thoughts and prayers people sent me. For some reason it’s been difficult to do that this time.
None-the-less, I’ve made an agreement with myself to make an art journal of encouragement and beauty. So, I direct my thoughts to that.
What might help me now, and inspire me each time I turn to it? I am drawn to the power of words and images, so I set to work.
I carefully choose and craft the images and words. Repeatedly I read the words. I let their meaning and sound fill the space around me. I notice how they make me feel. I search for words that create the palpable sensation I seek. Then I string them together in ways that increase their power. My hands shake as I lay down the words and images. Interestingly enough, I’m able to breathe through that and actually allow it to form my drawing in ways that please me.
Do I still feel ill? Yes. But I also feel soothed.
The power of creativity – in thought, design, word, and deed – is strong. I think I will take my journal back to bed with me, and rest with it in my hands. I will imagine the sweet smell of beeswax and roses seeping out — bathing me in warm, luscious peace, as my sister and brother Saints sit and keep me company.
This is beautiful. You use things that are so dear to me, also, Scripture, words and art. I believe God used those as His soothing presence. I am sorry you are ill and battling cancer.
Me too, but on the upside, it is manageable, and I always hope it is being used for good in some way. 😁 Blessings to you.
And I just noticed you said my post is beautiful too!!! My Uncle Cassian is reminding me he is with me. What a beautiful gift!!!
Every bit of this is so beautiful.
“This moment exists for always
Candle always lit
Roses always blooming
Prayers always spoken
God always good”
The power of creativity is indeed strong. Thank you for sharing such loveliness and joy. I hope tomorrow will feel so much better than today.
I love that you said it is beautiful! It reminds me of my dear Uncle Cassian – a Passionist priest. He would always say “that’s beautiful, just beautiful!” I am sure he sits with me, and intercedes for me before the throne of God. 💗 Thank you for the reminder.
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Molly – Your post reminded me of a poem I wrote as part of that novel I have YET to finish! I hope it gives you strength, my friend. Rest, be at peace, gather energy.
Gathering energy from the air,
Their eyes are closed,
I can hear their rhythmic breathing,
Each face is distant and serene,
Gentle fingers curve,
Agile arms bend
To silent music,
I move with them,
Their quiet strength.
Oh! I look forward to your novel — whenever it comes. And just think, you haven’t finished, but you did start. How many of us can say that?!!!
That is a fabulous poem. I love the last 3 lines. 😁
Art and creativity, journaling – you know yourself well enough to choose the way to find strength and joy. Your journal pages are beautiful. “I search for words that create the palpable sensation I seek. Then I string them together in ways that increase their power.” – I love these lines form your post.
Thank you, Terje! Thanks for the affirmation of knowing myself. I am trying to be mindful — noticing how I feel at different moments, and how I am able to impact my own feeling. It’s good to be reminded 🙂 Beauty is such a gift.
So very beautiful, Molly. You’re inspiring! Stay strong and may you find comfort in the beautiful things that surround you and in your practice. Thinking of you.
Thanks for your kind and affirming words and presence, Lyn!
As someone walking beside her adult daughter as she battles cancer, I found solace in your work – your internal, vulnerable work, and the writing you shared with the world. There certainly is something sacred in creating. It’s why I find myself in the kitchen so often, baking, playing with recipes, taking in the aromas, noticing the textures, tasting the sweetness or the tanginess, and then delighting in the sharing of the treat with others.
Your journey is important, and while it is yours, something in it connected ours to it. Thank you. Thank you.
Oh! I am so glad you found solace!! Creating in the kitchen is such a fabulous thing – creating, gifting, healing! I’ll keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Has she read any of Kris Carr’s things? Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor is so good, and she has a regular blog. Also The Cancer Fighting Kitchen by Rebecca Katz has been quite helpful.
Your first line made my heart heart. Then I kept reading and am in awe by the way you create beauty and choose joy. I saved an image of your notebook page in my camera roll on my phone. I’ve found myself praying for you throughout this last week. Thank you for sharing a glimpse into your notebook. Thank you for trusting the #sosmagic community with your stories.
Thank you, Ruth!!!! You and the rest of the #sosmagic community are such a blessing to me. And the encouragement to write has been fantabulous.
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